Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
