Can i not drive my cunt home
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
