So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
