News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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