u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
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