okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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