whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
