you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I think I died a long time ago.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
