you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
