I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
