It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
