he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Randomize
