I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
