I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
