it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
These tits shall not be calmed
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
