Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
