But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I love black thongs
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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