I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
