They should really pass out barf bags in church
Do vagina's smell?
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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