I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
