Kareoke will never be a sober sport
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Randomize
