physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
