oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize
