i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Randomize
