I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize
