Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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