she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
