Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
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