I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Randomize
