i don't like sucking hair
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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