i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
