He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
