I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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