Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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