Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
