Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
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