i used baking grease as lip gloss
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
