Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Well I just put wine in my tea
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
