I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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