I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
