I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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