i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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