capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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