Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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