bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
