He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
