And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
