i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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