Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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