yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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