i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
