When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
