I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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