I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
my being single is dangerous.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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