just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
