that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
