dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Randomize
