there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize