Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
